Archive for April, 2011

Challenging Ideas 8/10

Posted in Mental Morsels on 30/04/2011 by Jen Healey

The eighth ‘Challenging Idea to Think About’ is: 

“We all make mistakes; we are all selfish, cheating, vain, greedy and tell lies.  We are all human.  Nobody is perfect.  Learn to forgive yourself and accept your humanness.” 

Now I don’t think this is an excuse to be selfish, cheating, vain, greedy and a fibber, but when you do these things I think it is important to notice them, correct them and forgive yourself for them.  Feeling bad about your behaviour, to excess, is not good for your health, but ignoring bad behaviour is not good for your social life.  If you continue through life behaving badly you will find yourself without any kind of social support network, unless you have very forgiving friends or family. 

Did I ever tell you, my wonderful friends and family, that I think you are all lovely…

What is Goth?

Posted in Gothic, Homemade with tags , , , , , , on 29/04/2011 by Jen Healey

I think there are probably as many answers to this question as there are Goths, but for myself, this lovely ‘Lady of the Manners’ sums it up pretty well… 

I discovered her website via Twitter and was interested to note that Stephen Fry follows her too, I was mildly surprised at that.  But Gothic Charm School, The Lady of the Manners’ website, is definitely worth a click by anyone, Goth or not.  She explains neatly and concisely what Goth is all about in her four short videos, while plugging her book ‘Gothic Charm School – An Essential Guide for Goths and Those Who Love Them’ – yes it has been added to my ever-expanding to-read list! 

She also talks about Gothic arts and crafts in the fourth video, which may be of interest to the ladies at Sew Make Believe, as Goths are usually pretty creative people – out of necessity usually, as finding non-cheesy or well-made Gothic clothes and accessories can be pretty tricky sometimes.  Also, as Jillian Venters (The Lady of the Manners) explains, we are polite, nice people who know what it is like to be picked on and excluded, so are unlikely to make anti-social meetup members. 

It is also thanks to Twitter that I have discovered Etsy, which is a really cool site for crafty people to sell their handmade creations and for shoppers to bag a unique item or two, Goth or not.  I recently Tweeted a very cool pincushion or two that I may buy in the not-so-distant future which was found on Etsy. 

Like I needed more places to spend money I don’t have!  😉

(Image source – Amazon uk)


Posted in Journal, Musings on 28/04/2011 by Jen Healey

It is interesting to note the effect that comments can have on people, obviously I’m referring more to the effect that those made by others have on myself.  Not to paint myself as a neurotic mess, but, when I take time to examine something expressed by another it sometimes has a habit of buzzing round my brain for a day or two.  Not every little throw away comment, but if something takes me aback a bit, chances are it will be examined and probably discussed with my long-suffering hubby. 

I think that when people are unsure of how they feel about something, they look at those around them to check for the appropriate reaction, or maybe to see if they agree with the status quo.  I say this because I have had some difficulty knowing how to feel about my granddad getting married yesterday.  As I have mentioned previously, a large chunk of my disquiet has been my ‘loyality’ to the memory of my beloved grandma and possibly to my not ever meeting the new lady in my granddad’s life before yesterday, and seeing how happy he is with her. 

A comment that has stayed with me today, was made when I was chatting to a lady on the walk home from school this morning, in response to my ‘feeling around’ for reactions I suppose.  This lovely lady, with a very strong (yet soft) Scottish accent, said “How lovely for him to have found love so late in life”.  That, bizarrely, had not occurred to me before it was said by a stranger.  What a great way to think about it!  Looking back at yesterday, he was so happy and obviously in love with this lady, that I am unable to feel other emotion stronger than I feel happy for my old granddad.  A man who lost his wife, who I know he loved with every ounce of his being, I saw that love too when we were saying goodbye to her.  To have felt that pain, loneliness and loss, the guy deserves to be as happy as he was yesterday.  It was, in my eyes, his day, and he enjoyed it. 

This sentiment, courtesy of a comment made off-the-cuff by a stranger, to a stranger.  Thanks lady.

NOT The Royal Wedding

Posted in Journal on 27/04/2011 by Jen Healey

Today I went to the wedding of my 83-year-old granddad and his lady-friend.  The weather was very nice for this occasion and it was lovely to see some family members that I don’t often have contact with.  The newly weds looked very happy, which is really what the day was about, but I really couldn’t help but think about my grandma.  I know that I should focus on my granddad being happy, but it is difficult to discount the discomfort I experienced a couple of times today. 

Instead of waffling on about my feelings, which are still fairly fluid and need time to settle, through a bit of reflection and time, I’m going to show you something that made me have a wry/cynical smile today. 

This sign is above the door to the room where people are married at Coventry Registry Office, oops… 

I’m not being bitchy in this instance, but the wording is pretty unfortunate. 

Also, the poor bride nearly fell up it on her way out!  Prompting someone on her side to say that she’d “do anything for the insurance money”, which was a bit of a weird thing to say really.  I think they meant compensation of course, but still, what a thing to say about someone, on their wedding day!  Actually it was in keeping with the general feel of the day.  It was definitely one I’ll be pondering for a good few days.

Keys to Mental Health 7/7

Posted in Mental Morsels on 26/04/2011 by Jen Healey

7.  Develop and maintain relationships.  Value and nurture friendships.  Develop a network of social support and confiding relationships as they act as an insulator against stress.  Accept others for how they are, rather than trying to change them. 

(T. Powell)

How much longer do I have to wait?!

Posted in TV with tags , , on 25/04/2011 by Jen Healey

I am enjoying watching the first season of True Blood again, but I’ll admit to being impatient for the fourth series.  Even more so now that I saw this via Twitter today…

Oh it looks really good!

Challenging Ideas 7/10

Posted in Mental Morsels on 24/04/2011 by Jen Healey

It may be Easter Sunday, but mental health workers will be still keeping services running today, so here’s my contribution. 

The seventh ‘Challenging Idea to Think About’ is: 

“You are responsible for everything that you do.  All excuses are unacceptable.” 

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